So, my brother sends us an email talking about an incident he recently had on the slopes. Below is his email:
Well, it’s that time of year again to go through my latest ordeal. This time I was an innocent bystander and it wasn’t even my fault…of course that didn’t stop Tami from grounding me, but what can you do.
My story all begins up on the slopes as we took the mutual on a ski trip last Saturday. We all went up to Mt. Hood to ski at Mt. Hood Meadows for night skiing. I spent most of my time with Ian going down one of the smaller slopes and just having a good time with him as Tami took Anders and Ellie up to the widow maker to see how many of the kids she can lose. We then went in to take a break and eat dinner and rest up for the 2nd go around. It was about 7:30 PM or so and we were going to ski until 9:00 and then meet back at the lodge to go home. I had decided to go up on one of the higher runs with a couple of friends of mine. They were both pretty good skiers, but the one was trying snow boarding this time so we were just going to go on a green run that wasn’t too difficult. Rick (snowboarder) was out in front so we could watch him and help if he fell or got into trouble. We had made it about half way down the mountain when he fell so I pulled up to him and stopped to see if he was ok. Then Mark came over and we were waiting for Rick to get back up when I heard a noise and turned just in time to see this snowboarder coming at me at what seemed like 100 miles an hour.
I had absolutely no time to react as all I remember was being hit and then being very disoriented and remembering a weird dragging then hitting and dragging and hitting. I later found out that the dragging was my face on the ice as I had been flipped completely upside down and my body was trying to flip around but my neck and my face were keeping it from completing the flip. I then tried to gather myself and figure out what was happening. My legs were underneath me at a weird angle so I tried to straighten them out so I could lie down flat. My knee was hurting pretty badly and I was worried that I may have really hurt it this time. Rick was asking me how I felt and if I was all right. That is when I lifted my face up off the snow and could see blood dripping onto the snow from my face or head. I soon forgot about my knee and tried to tell how bad I was hurt and where the blood was coming from. At that point I saw the snowboarder laying about 10 feet from me and remember yelling, “What the heck were you doing.” All he could say was that he lost control. I then just laid back down trying to get enough strength to crawl over and strangle him, but Rick was now at my side and was trying to look at me. I also remember the snowboarder asking if he should go get the ski patrol and I guess someone said yes because he took off.
Shortly after that a couple came up to us and she stayed by us as her boyfriend went for help. A couple of minutes later our bishop happened to come skiing up and he also stayed until the ski patrol arrived. They then went through the normal series of questions to see just how loopy I was and if I thought I was Batman or not. She then asked me where I was and I said I am skiing. She asked if I knew which resort and of course I did not, but I can never remember the name of that stupid resort and all that I could think of was New Meadows but that didn’t sound right, so I finally told her that it wouldn’t matter if I was fine or not I would still not know the name. I finally said I was on Mt. Hood and I think it was New Meadows or something. It’s actually Mt. Hood Meadows, but I guess I got close enough that she decided I was just stupid and not really hurt. After that she checked my neck and back because I said that is where it hurt the worse, but since my spinal cord had not been severed she decided that I could go ahead and ride down in the sled. She put her back pack at the front and then had me sit up with my back to the backpack and looking backwards from the way she was going. Next she put a strap the size of a piece of thread around me and started going. She had also given me a big piece of gauze to hold up on my face, so with one hand on the gauze and one hand on the sled we started down the mountain.
We didn’t go far before my neck started to really hurt as I was being thrown around like a bobble head doll at a Blazer game. I had to finally put my hand behind my head so my head wouldn’t fall off. Just then she said that we are going to pick up some speed so we could make it up the next hill…and away we went. There was just no way that I was going to stay inside that little baby sled without any hands so I just left the gauze stuck to my face and my bobble head neck where it was and grabbed on to that sled for dear life; not the best sleigh ride I have taken, that’s for sure. We finally made it back to the lodge, but now they had to take me to the clinic, so they hooked my fun little sled up to a snowmobile and away we went again. Apparently there is a shortage of sleeping gas or something because I figured that they were trying to get me to sleep by using the exhaust from the snow mobile, this time I had to hang on so I wouldn’t slump over and be dragged to my death by a runaway snowmobile, just like in one of Dad’s crazy western movies.
We eventually made it to the clinic and our bishop asked if he should go get Tami. I told him not yet as there wasn’t much that she could do and maybe I could get in one more run before she caught me and the grounding commenced. After he saw the gauze come off and them start to clean my face, he said that it’s probably a good thing that we didn’t get Tami because she didn’t need to see that. The cleaning, or as I like to call it the, torture you until you tell the truth or until we reach the bone faze, was finally done, they let me lay down and relax a bit. Then the bishop took me back to the lodge to wait for everyone and to put me on display for anyone who might wander by. I had several people come over and say that they were sorry and that they hated snowboarders too, while others would turn the corner and gasp. Women were fainting and small children were crying and finally I yelled out, “I am not an animal.” Actually everyone was very nice to me and were getting me things and taking my boots off and making me comfortable. Finally Tami came in I think she just shook her head and laughed and had that, “What Now” look on her face. Ellie came right over and started trying to wipe the blood off my face, which again almost made me give up my name, rank and serial number, until I told her that it wasn’t blood and no matter how hard she scrubbed it wasn’t coming off. Basically I just had a big rug burn on my face, with a few other deeper cuts.
As you can see by the pictures the first night it was pretty red, but now it is starting to scab up a bit but the swelling is worse. It feels like my head is as big as the Jack in the Box guy and it’s hard to keep my one eye open, but I am just lucky that nothing else happened. I am also feeling lucky to have such a great family to take care of me and friends who keep calling to see how I am doing. It looks like I will live after all, but I do keep finding more aches and bruises as the days go on. The only things that hurt now, besides my face and ear are my shoulder, collar bone, shin, back, neck, right hip, left pinkie and right knee and thigh, other than that I am good. And like Ian says, Dad, that would have killed a normal man…how wise he is.
Well, that’s about it for now, I will let you know how things progress, or I will write again in about 6 months when the next episode of the life of Jeff plays out.
To this email, my sister Kimberly replied:
Ha Ha Ha ha hahahahahaha! gosh that is awesome. I almost peed my pants at work when i saw those pics and read your lil story. priceless. the laughter is laughter of love. man i'm sorry! but really, you should get mom to send you some emu oil for the healing effects to rub on your owies :)
Of Course, I had to take the opportunity to reply to Kimby's email, to which I said:
Better than Emu oil, get some of that Emu sausage or Emu hotdogs and rub those on the sores. The pure meat of the Emu allows the healing properties of the world's wonder cure to penetrate directly into the spots that need the most healing. And if you can afford it, let a live Emu lick your face. It's practically an instant cure.
It seems my brother took me seriously, and below is the result:
1 comment:
I love Emu
Post a Comment